For this blog I offer a simple insight. It is an insight presented by Dr. Robert Morris. He approached it as “the Father’s Battle” but I seek to tailor it to parents and those leading the Rising Stars and I will present an example from my journey.
Dr. Morris got the insight from the story of the Prodigal Son and to start, let me offer the true basic insight he presented. In the Prodigal Son story, Dr. Morris pointed out that the battle of the father is “To Wait on the Son”. The son had to DECIDE to return home. The father had to Wait for his son to make that decision.
Let me offer my point and then I will point out one example from my journey. As a parent or really anyone leading Rising Stars, you cannot just always tell them what to do. Obviously, sometimes you have to if for their protection or something. However, for most other times, you have to let them go through their journey of learning and development. Often as parents, we want to do it faster and we simply tell them what to do. However, when we do that, we often insidiously remove their developing confidence and ability. Let me offer an example.
There was one time when I was with my great grandkids in the waiting room as their daddy was getting some dental work done. My amazing great granddaughter who was about 5 at the time was sitting on my lap and playing a little electronic game on the cell phone. At one point, she was frustrated as she looked at me and said “Pawpaw, I am not good at this game”. I looked at her and said "Sweetie, that is not true.”
She said “But I don’t do good on this game.” I said “that is not true Sweetie.” She looked at me surprised and you could see the failure and disappointment in her face. I looked at her and said “You know what is true sweetie?” Confused she said “What”.
I simply said “It is true that you are not good at it YET but you can be if you just keep practicing?” She just lit up with a wide smile on her face that I have never forgotten.
Realize that as parents or leaders of Rising Stars, we have to allow them to make the decision to do the work and grow. We can do this by asking great questions but there are times when we need to wait for them to decide or step forward; the Father’s Battle. Also, each Rising Star is an individual. Each one is highly important and we must focus on what is best for their future and development.
– Randy Swaim, Coaching for Relevance, LLC