For this blog I will illustrate a real-world example from my journey. Understand, my parents had their own struggles that they were never able to really overcome but the central point of this blog is a valuable insight for others to consider and I offer this to set the stage for the valuable insight.
Let me say that whatever his issues, my father was a man who was focused on himself. He was a man who was singly focused on his own fun, even at others expense. He never talked unless someone asked him in a way that he could talk all about himself in a self-focused way.
I had to overcome much of what my parents put into my life and as I have mentioned on a previous blog, A couple of Defining Moments in my journey overcame this. As such, my journey has gone so much further than I would have even seen possible.
The Key Illustration:
About 4 years ago we were at a birthday dinner and he, my stepmother and I were sitting there talking. My stepmother and I were doing most of the talking because my dad was not saying anything until he looked at me and said, “So do you ever see yourself flying a small airplane again?” I looked at him and I said “Dad, to be honest I really don’t. I have lived my dream, but I was born for a bigger purpose than just that!”.
There came a time a couple of years ago when I got a chance to be very Loving but Candid with him. He sat across the room and said, “I need to connect you to the airport (hoping I would become exclusively focused on that)”. I simply replied to him “Dad, I have already answered that”. He responded that “Well, I hope you don’t mind me asking sometimes.” To which I said “Dad, I do not mind you asking at all as long as you are ok with getting the same answer.”
I then was able to tell him lovingly: “Dad, I was not able to totally control the impact of the Dysfunction in my Upline Lineage on my life; but there is one thing I am totally in control of! The upline dysfunction in my upline Ends & Dies with me and it will not go 1 inch beyond me to my nonbiological grandkids” .
It was interesting that only a couple of minutes after I said that, the Facetime on my phone went off and it was those 2 young kids and as soon as I answered it (in front of my dad) he heard two wonderful voices excitedly shout “PAWPAW!!!!” and I responded “Hi Guys!” and he heard the joy in the kid’s voices.
In developing Rising Stars, focus on them and their dreams. Are there times when you need to correct them and let them see a bit of consequences of their behaviors……Yes; but meet them where they are in their journey and help them walk to their dreams.
I simply offer an insight for your Rising Star and an key insight for those developing them.
Rising Star insight:
when you need to be honest with someone, you can be truthful and still loving at the same time.
FINAL CRITICAL INSIGHT:
In developing your Rising Stars….
Avoid putting yourself in a position where to be successful and achieve their dreams & destiny….
YOUR RISING STAR HAS TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU IN MORE THAN DISTANCE!
– Randy Swaim, Coaching for Relevance, LLC